what i want

and if you ever hear me
when i'm angry like a dad
who lost a child well then i'm sorry
cause i'm certain that it can't
be worth a damn to listen to
i'm just hurling some abuse
to let it damage where it lands
to let it make you angry too

but it's not you i'm swinging at
guess i can only take so much
i'm not half the bastard that
i get accused of being, when you fuss
i tried doing what i should
all i got was smeared and shamed
and i guess moving on is good
it doesn't mean i'm never angry

doesn't mean i'm never angry
doesn't mean i'm not in pain
doesn't mean i didn't know from minute one i was to blame
how much more can one man take?
how much more do i deserve?
how much longer do i sit in silent injury from words?
what should i do when it still hurts?

i tried asking for forgiveness
i tried love that stood its ground
i tried being there for what i could
i tried not being around
i tried to sit in silent sorrow
or call on your tomorrow
should i have focused on the future
or listened to the story
well i did and all it got me
was proof i did the right thing

doesn't mean i'm never angry
doesn't mean i'm not in pain
doesn't mean i didn't know from minute one i was to blame
how much more can one man take?
how much more do i deserve?
how much longer do i sit in silent injury from words?
what should i do when it still hurts?

i would tell you i was sorry
if i thought that you would hear it
but evidence is leaning from the
hundred times i've said it...